you asked me to post from my email to you, and i didn't know where exactly to put it, and this just sort of jumped out at me. i was saying in the email that i think this blog is a good idea and that i think you should save it in some form to show to the little gift that God is going to give you one day. i can't imagine the love a child would feel to read how desperately it had been wanted before it had ever even taken form, to see the work, the sacrifice, the pain, the perseverence its mother went through to look in its eyes. i think that child would not only feel loved, but would have a real handle on his/her own worth and value. a child like that would never sell itself out or settle for less than what God had planned for his/her life. i also said in the email that reading your posts has made me cry more than once; i'm crying now as i type. i know how badly you want this. i have seen it in your face, heard it in your voice, and now read it in your words. i know that your wanting is so strong its almost like physical pain at times, and i know that, at times, it overwhelms you. God will provide. i say that as unabashedly as i can, with as much certainty as i have ever had about anything. i don't say it because i KNOW you will have a child; i say it because i know my God--your God--is faithful. He sill provide, be it through a child or through healing/peace/comfort and some other call on your life. when papa was sick, i prayed for healing. i prayed like i've never prayed for anything in my life. i have never come as strongly to the throne with a request i felt more keenly. and He answered. He healed. it was not the healing i was looking for, but it was a better healing than i'd had vision enough to ask for. God always provides. He may not do it in the way we want Him to or expect Him to, but He always does. i don't know if He will call you to motherhood at all, but i know that whatever He calls you to is perfect, and i know that whatever that is--be it a child or not--He will comfort you in that will and that provision. i pray that He chooses to honor your request; i yearn for it for you, maybe because i hope to live vicariously through you, but probably just because i love you. and i know you want this. and i know you will honor God's blessing of motherhood by raising a child in way that He would find pleasing. so smile, love. God will provide. one way or another. and in the meantime, we will all be praying that it's the way that includes diapers and rattles and car seats and "mommy." God knows your heart, and He knows your requests, and He knows your pain, and He knows your discouragement. He will provide.
you asked me to post from my email to you, and i didn't know where exactly to put it, and this just sort of jumped out at me. i was saying in the email that i think this blog is a good idea and that i think you should save it in some form to show to the little gift that God is going to give you one day. i can't imagine the love a child would feel to read how desperately it had been wanted before it had ever even taken form, to see the work, the sacrifice, the pain, the perseverence its mother went through to look in its eyes. i think that child would not only feel loved, but would have a real handle on his/her own worth and value. a child like that would never sell itself out or settle for less than what God had planned for his/her life. i also said in the email that reading your posts has made me cry more than once; i'm crying now as i type. i know how badly you want this. i have seen it in your face, heard it in your voice, and now read it in your words. i know that your wanting is so strong its almost like physical pain at times, and i know that, at times, it overwhelms you. God will provide. i say that as unabashedly as i can, with as much certainty as i have ever had about anything. i don't say it because i KNOW you will have a child; i say it because i know my God--your God--is faithful. He sill provide, be it through a child or through healing/peace/comfort and some other call on your life. when papa was sick, i prayed for healing. i prayed like i've never prayed for anything in my life. i have never come as strongly to the throne with a request i felt more keenly. and He answered. He healed. it was not the healing i was looking for, but it was a better healing than i'd had vision enough to ask for. God always provides. He may not do it in the way we want Him to or expect Him to, but He always does. i don't know if He will call you to motherhood at all, but i know that whatever He calls you to is perfect, and i know that whatever that is--be it a child or not--He will comfort you in that will and that provision. i pray that He chooses to honor your request; i yearn for it for you, maybe because i hope to live vicariously through you, but probably just because i love you. and i know you want this. and i know you will honor God's blessing of motherhood by raising a child in way that He would find pleasing. so smile, love. God will provide. one way or another. and in the meantime, we will all be praying that it's the way that includes diapers and rattles and car seats and "mommy." God knows your heart, and He knows your requests, and He knows your pain, and He knows your discouragement. He will provide.
ReplyDelete