ok, so i have to say last night's injection--even though the 1st one yesterday morning didn't hurt--i was having anxiety about doing it myself. so i made clint do it. which made me nervous too, since he has zero technical skills about giving shots--it was his first after all! i hope this gets better. as i woke up this morning, i got up seriously grumpy thinking how unfair this is for me to have to go through. shots upon shots to have a 'chance' to have a baby, when other people can just have them so easily. i hear it at work soo often--"oh, i just got pregnant on the pill", or "ugh, i'm pregnant again"...these are the people i wanna smack. if you were one of these people, PLEASE, for your own sake, remember people like me who would do anything--give injetions daily for weeks just to have our very own. and for the simple fact that if looks could kill, you may be dead. :)
so, i woke up frustrated to say the least. i went back and read through some of your comments--the reason i started this whole blog to begin with--to read the encouraging words from so many people i love. it must have helped, because it changed my outlook on getting up and shoving that needle in my belly. but as i started giving my injection to myself (yay!!!--such a minor task to some of you that i conquered, but i'm thankful for it this morning--no anxiety about doing it myself), i realized some people have to do this daily, for whatever reasons, to stay alive. so, for that, i am thankful. that this is ONLY temporary for me. THANK GOD. did i mention how TERRIFIED i am of needles? GAHH. at 31, i still look away when they draw my blood...every single time.
THANKFUL my grumpy"ness" has subsided for the time being, because i'm off to church!
~~LLC
LOL,I remember those "i'm going to smack them all" days! I think it's part of the process (along with shifting hormones). I would spend half of most days in tears, begging for an answer of why I was having to do this.
ReplyDeleteLet me say, you will know why. You will see it one day. We are praying u will see the point of this journey when u look in you childs eyes! They will feel a special love from you & you from them, because of the battle you chose to fight for the chance to be a mommy! Keep looking up. Regardless of the outcome, there is a lesson :) You will be stronger.
Giving shots yourself? Wow - you are the woman. Jason had to do mine. You have the right to be grumpy sometimes. It isn't fair. My job - I see it, too. Woman with 3 kids she doesn't even take care of - will be pregnant again. Sickening. I know things will work out. But don't feel bad for feeling a little grumpy.;) You're human and going through one of the toughest times in your life. I understand. I've been right where you are.
ReplyDeleteReally proud of you, sis. Really. You're showing a strength and resolve that will see you through mommyhood and just about anything else in life. Here's to you, tough stuff! : )
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