sorry it's been a few days since i've posted! thank you for messaging me to check on me!!! it's kind of been hectic...even though october is my favorite month with fall and halloween, it makes starting this procedure pretty hectic with having 2 jobs!!! wears me out...but i love it.
so, i started my birth control pills on monday. doesn't make much sense to start birth control while you are trying to get preg right? it's supposed to regulate the ovaries, and prevents cysts from forming. i will take these for 3 weeks. i sat down and wrote out my 55 day calendar of this whole process today...wow, that was overwhelming. you really have no idea how involved this process really is until you are in the middle of it freaking out thinking you're gonna screw something up!
oh! i got all my meds in today! yaay! 4 different injections, all my needles, alcohol pads, antibiotics, steroids, and a sharps container. didn't seem like it was nearly as much as i expected after hearing the bill. ugh. i'm not sure if seeing all the meds was what overwhelmed me today or the writing out my dr appt/to-do calendar, or both, that made me realize this seriously involved process is not something to jump into lightly. i have prayed and prayed over this. should i spend all this money to try this out, so i won't hate myself later for not trying, or should i not worry about putting myself through all this anxiety/pills/injections/hormones/possible disappointment all over again, and go the adoption route. this is serious stuff folks.
clearly i chose the craziness, including the messed up hormones. pray for clint please! :) it has been a long 5 years, and i'm ready. ready to say i either tried everything i could, OR ready to name twins and stay up all night feeding them both. ready to give up my 8+ hours of sleep every single night. ready for poopy diapers (x2 would be fine with me!). ready for my own little miracle. ready for endless bottle washing. ready for snuggling my very own baby/s. i'm sooo past ready. i'm ready to be the one i'm filling prenatal vitamins for at work. don't get me wrong, i'm sooo happy for anyone who is pregnant, but i'm ready for it to be me.
i'm just ready.
~~LLC
I know it is overwhelming girl, but from someone who has done it 5 times, just take it one day at a time so you don't freak. I would just look at my calendar and say ok today I have to take one pill and one injection. I can do that. I know that God has a plan for you and has the perfect child/children waiting for you and Clint. Even though you are busy I think this is a great time to do it because being busy may help keep your mind off of it a little bit. Praying for you guys daily.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Ashley M
Praying for it to be you!! :-)
ReplyDeletePsalm 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
still praying for you and clint BOTH every day. praying this will be the one and praying if it isn't, praying that you will still know how much clint, me and your dad love you (hormones and all)
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